Old New Year, New Year

5, 4, 3, 2, 1..... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! For old acquaintance be forgot, blah blah blah,blah blah blah blah.... OK, what the hell does this song mean? AND why must we sing this every New Year? Is it good luck or something? I mean if we don't sing it will that make the new year we have just entered all shitty? The funniest is hearing the song in spanish, with a salsa beat... WHAT is THAT about??!!! hmmm... definitely a song for the ipod. :)

What can I say about this last year? I mean there were good times, not so good times, fun things, not so fun things; just like every year. For me, this year was a year of complete change and new beginnings. Marriage, freelancing, nesting, communicating, all of it new. There was death, illness, hospital visits, but overall it wasn't a bad year for the health department. We were blessed with tons of work, which sometimes didn't seem like a blessing, but it was. Work=money... money=security..... security=comfort... comfort=bliss... bliss=a good life. So, there was plenty of money!!! Overall, i can't really say anything awful about 2007. All i know is that all the good and bad combined and alone are blessings we are fortunate to have.

Welcome 2008!! I welcome abundance, good fortune, happiness, good health, long good lives, blessings, financial success, great work, love, good sex, passion, good communication, fun, motivation, self control, flexibilty, new hobbies, travel, and a great bond with my family and friends... I welcome all of this into my life and the lives of those that i love. The Universe provides, IT has my back, and IT blesses me always. THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

tis the season

Ah, we've come to that time of year again.... tis the season to be jolly.. fa la la la la la la... bah humbug, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday season. All the eating, partying, drinking, eating, baking, eating, and gift giving.... did i mention eating??!! How could you not love the holidays? So, why is it that with all the happiness, comes depression, sadness, manic thoughts of negativity and self deprication? Ah the holidays! With everything else in my life finding the right balance of happiness and generosity with bitter sweet sadness and depression is an interesting feat. So, with this I say, a happy and healthy holiday season to all and to all a good load of sanity! :)

Recharging your batteries

This past week has been an interestingly difficult one. After the loss of a loved one last week and all the pomp & circumstance leading up to & including the final goodbyes, the funeral, I did what I have never allowed myself to do. I recharged my batteries! The weeks leading up to his death were draining for everyone involved but I actually did bodywork on him to make him more comfortable. My hands were able to help someone on their deathbed, do you know how amazing that is? My energy, my hands and the comfort they were bestowing on him in the end made me feel like i had been a part of something truly special, inexplicably beautiful. Seeing him lying in that bed suffering wasn't beautiful, i am not that twisted!...but the energy I felt was. It felt like I was helping him in a way cross over peacefully.
However, i have never felt drained like i did after all was said and done. Is it depression, am I hiding from the world, am I preventing myself from living b/c i am too afraid of losing again? All these thoughts crossed my mind but then I realized, I was recharging my proverbial batteries. The best part of that realization was allowing myself to do it... being ok with the process. Well, I am still charging the batteries and little by little going out into the world. But how do I do that without wasting what little energy I have already acquired? And at what point does it turn into hiding from the world, depression, not living? Where is that balance or at least how do I find it? And what if this particular moment in time, is the Universe's way of showing me my true life path??? What is the Unviverse telling me that I am not hearing? What does the Universe have in mind for me after this? I guess these are all questions that have come along for the ride in the battery charging zone.

Time

How is it time just zooms by? When we are little, it takes forever. I remember sitting in class and looking out the window or looking at the clock and the day just dragging on.... 3 more hours til lunchtime/recess.... 3 more hours til i get to home.... 4 more days til Friday... uh! drag drag drag! Now, it's the extreme opposite. I find myself saying, " How is it noon?... Holy crap it's 5? How is it Friday???" It's funny sometimes. I mean who isn't happy to leave work at the end of the day or for the weekend, right? Well, there's a price to pay for that I guess.... when you start noticing grey hairs, or your joints & muscles aching, or you're just plain tired all the time.
Those things are normal I know and not as freaky to me as say seeing someone turn 21 when you changed their diapers and carried them as babies. THAT's freaky! And yes, it's happened to me! The worst thing though, is seeing the people you care about, your parents, their friends, your elders, growing older by the minute. WIth every birthday or New Year comes new aches, pains, injuries, diseases, surgeries, and death. How do we get to this point and how can we deal with seeing those people that once took care of us and protected us growing fragile and eventually dying? How do we prepare for that? Is there a way to prepare to lose your parents/granparents/aunts/uncles/friends,etc. And how does one, as an aging adult, say goodbye to their friends who are dying or sick?
We spend our whole lives trying to find people to relate to and some of us are lucky enough to find that community. What happens 30, 40, 50 years from now when that community starts dying one by one? That saying,"it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all", I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I mean, YES, it is better to have loved and lived than to hide your life away. OK, agreed! BUT when you are the one losing the people you love and you're left behind, alone, then what? Is it still better to have loved and lost and lived? Left with your memories, the voices of the past, and, for those people lucky enough to commune with the spirit world, left to communicate with souls... never to see their loved ones again or touch them.
LIFE.....

it's been too long since my last blog!

ok, so, i am treating this blog, I've noticed, the way I have always treated my journals... uhm, I write enthusiastically in the beginning and then something comes up and I forget to write in it! UGGGGGGG!!! BUT I am writing now, so better late than never, right? ;)

Ok, OK it's time for the shameless plug... I'd like you all to check out an amazing photographer, who not only takes lovely pics, but is also a total quality person. I am glad to call her my friend and wouldn't have used anybody else on my big day last year! SO, check her out... Jennifer Shea and you can check her out in my "talented people to check out" column. Both her blog and her website are showcased there. Show her some people and give her business! :)

oopsy! need to make a correction...

hey hey hey,
SO, after 6 months of going to my acupuncturist, I now find out I have been spelling her name wrong this whole time! DUH! Her name is Karoline Gostl (no "r").... lol I have corrected on her link but figured I shoud actually say something in regards to it. Thanks Karoline for calling it out! See ya Monday ...lol :)

Red Velvet Cupcakes

What is it about red velvet cake that makes people's sweet tooths swoon like a teenage girl in love? I never saw the fascination with it, especially after watching Steel Magnolias and the bleeding armadillo grooms cake... YUCK! Well, tonight I decided to get over my distaste for R.V.C. It happens to be my best friend's favorite dessert and since she's leaving for a much longed for and much deserved vacation, I am seeing her before she takes off. I figured it would make her happy and what a great way to try a new recipe out, right? Well, I am all sugared out and have no idea what they taste like. Once I taste them I'll post my review.. but in the mean time, you can look at a pic of them and have sugar filled dreams...lol :)The end result was Red Velvet Cupcakes with Vanilla & Bailey's Cream Cheese Frosting.... yeah ok, it sounds damn good... IF I say so myself! lol
Will keep you posted!

Fall's in the air

It's mid September(sort of) and time is flying. How is it time just zooms by & sweeps you along with it when we're older but it lags behind when we're kids? I didn't post anything yesterday, mainly I just had nothing to say. That happens alot in my life. So, it's funny that I chose to start a blog when for the most part I have nothing to say. Go figure. Maybe it's my way of learning how to get out of my shell & connecting with my inner self. Who knows. ANYWAY, I am digressing!

I went to acupuncture last night, and if you've never tried it I highly recommend it. I went in completely anxious, depressed, exhausted, on the brink of tears. My therapist, Karoline, suggested it might be b/c of 9/11. We were all affected by it, especially if you were in any of the areas directly associated with it. I made sure not to watch any of the news yesterday , which kept replaying images of the WTC going down and all the mass hysteria. I even forgot about it throughout the day. I did feel badly about that but life goes on and yesterday so did I. .... OR so I thought. I didn't think that subconsciously I was feeling the negativity and vibes associated with the day. Will it be like this always? Not only was I feeling this way, but alot of people around me too. I offered up a prayer for everyone affected and called it a day, but it wasn't until I got to acupuncture that I realized no matter what, this day is ingrained in those of us who lived to tell. Funny how the mind works, huh!

And speaking of acupuncture, if anyone is in the Queens, NY area or in the NYC area(and willing to travel), please check out the BEST acupuncturist ever. Her name is Karoline Grostl and she ROCKS! She's funny, calming, sweet, and she knows her stuff. She makes sure you feel like jelly by the time you leave her office. I am attaching her link to my blog so you can check her out.

Oh and before I forget, the other reason why I started this blog was to promote the talented, creative, amazing people around me. I will be adding people's links to this blog and proudly will pimp them out! SO, please support these wonderful talents and help them do their life's work.

OH and one last thing.... check out James Wolcott! He's this incredibly talented composer and musician from NYC by way of Nebraska. His links are also on the blog under "Required Listening". His bands include U.S. scientists, Six Demon, Hasteur, NE ,all under the umbrella of Mercer Friendly. Currently, he is working with his musical/business partner Jason Merritt (also on the link of talented people to watch as "Jemicus") on soundtracks for video games. They are both amazingly talented individuals who deserve many a chance in the spot light. Check them out and enjoy!

Baking and working....

I rediscovered my passion for baking this weekend. I took a class at the ICE with my very good friend Elaine... "Making and Decorating Perfect Birthday Cakes". I hadn't forgotten what it was like to make something from scratch but I really had forgotten the accolades that come with a fantastically delicious dessert and how it good it feels to 1.feed people & 2. get compliments. I guess that's my "chicken soup for the soul" except in my case, it's more like "baked goods for the ego"...lol
We made 2 very decadent cakes... the 1st was a white cake with chocolate ganache and raspberry filling. The 2nd was a devil's food cake with a chocolate mocha buttercream... YUM! Definitely not for those on a diet or afraid of butter...lol
Just had a thought.... i should just bake more stuff more often and take it to my freelance gigs... somewhere along the way I am bound to get a paying customer and maybe, just maybe it might turn into a business. It's a thought......
In the mean time, I am watching History of the World, Part I... I love this movie!! Why I don't own it is beyond me! Oh to be Madeline Khan's character of the Roman empress... best character ever!

Factory Girl....

Why do creative types(artists, musicians, etc) have to be ass wipes? I know that's a generalization and I know that not ALL creatives are ass wipes. But after watching this movie, it just seems like it. Andy Warhol was such a shit.... using people around him to gain fame and credibility. How many updated Warhols are out there now in Hipster land? With daddy's trust fund being spent away as they live the "artist's life"... tre bohemian... viva la vie boheme. And yet they are the ones that make the connections... they are the ones that make it work and get known, get credit, get richer? !! But someone like me or MY creative types get SHIT! B/c we don't schmooze, b/c we don't kiss ass, b/c we don't connect with the new Warhols and Sedgwiks, hipsters and their wannabes. Things don't change I guess and maybe I should find some comfort in that. But the only thing I find is true and utter disgust. And now, I am truly depressed!

Welcome to Cakekitty Land!! Post 1

So, this is my 1st "blog" and I am not quite sure what the hell I am doing or what I want to write about. HAHA... WELCOME TO CAKEKITTY LAND!! A rollercoaster ride into my world of uncertainty, insecurities, silliness, and confusion.... WOOHOO!
I want this blog to be my journal, my sketch book, my silent buddy in which I write in when I remember it exists.
To those who read this, good luck! HAHAHAHA Kidding! I'm really not a complete "Eyore"( ok, the donkey dude in Winnie the Pooh....lol... constantly down and depressed throwing pity parties for himself). I have my moments of "Eyore-ness" but then i bounce right up again like "Tiger" and sometimes get all sweet and gooey like "Winnie the Pooh". WOW! I am making Disney cartoon references about myself... SERIOUSLY!! I think it's time for "waffles"!!
So, this is me.... nice to meet ya all. Nice to meet me....lol :)

Let's see where this rollercoaster takes us.

Peace out!